Being Present with Your Teen

I came across this post this morning, written in 2010, I love the simple wisdom and the reminder that our relationship with our teens is what will determine response to us. Short and sweet and to the point, written by Dr Debra Atkisson, a child Psychiatrist. You can also find the link at the end of the post.

Developing and strengthening bonds with your teen is very important for both your teen and you.  We need to develop a system of “discipline”, but of equal or even maybe greater importance is spending “quality time” with your teen.

Teens do not often welcome their parents to have close interactions with them.  They would much rather be talking with their friends.  So how do you schedule one-on-one time with your teen?  Think about activities they would like to do – then ask them what they would like to do if you spend a day together. You might be surprised at their response.

Spending time together is important for many reasons.  You will find that your teen will talk more about what is going on with them when you have some time together for fun activities.  She might ask you about when you were a teen – and be prepared to talk with her about your memories of high school.  The two of you can compare notes! 

And spending time with your teen builds good memories.  I once heard Sherri talk about emotional bank accounts.  She talked about how it is difficult to exert “discipline”/consequences on your teen when the emotional bank account is empty.  Building up that emotional bank account can happen by making a deposit of your time and interest in your teen.

Guess what – you might have a good time too!

Dr. Debra

https://parentingwithallthepieces.typepad.com/parenting_with_all_the_pi/2010/11/being-present-with-your-teen.html# 11/03/2010