Saving our Teens

I remember as a mother of young children dreading the teenage phase, yet knowing deep within that we as parents hold the keys to help our children through the sometimes tumultuous path that their lives inevitably must take. 

I had a deep sense of knowing that family time is what would make the difference to these teens.  I am an observer and I had observed many of the families of children that I taught and seen that the families who maintained quality time with their teens, were the families who continued growing together.

I have also observed how the modern approach of completely loosening the reigns and allowing teenagers to be their own person apart from the family, results in tremendous pain as the emotional part of a teenager’s brain is still developing.  They need to know that they are part of the family and that they are an important part of the family.

In our home, we have a special Blessing Ceremony for our children when they turn 13 years old.  We, along with family and close friends speak blessing over the child and we then make a declaration that no longer do we walk ahead of the child, but now we walk alongside him/her to coach them in life.

 In his book, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers, Gary Chapman speaks about “The Connecting Power of Communication”.

Emotional Connectedness is so important in our lives.  Dr Chapman maintains that “the family mealtime is one of the best places to build emotional connectedness with teens”.  This needs to be a time free of TV, phones, tablets, ipads, books and any other distraction.  It is a time to talk to one another, look one another in the eye, listen to one another and, yes, pray for one another.

This should be an opportunity to hear and be heard, to practise listening without adding your two cents to each person’s story and to not give advice unless you are asked to give it.

This is also an opportunity for families to have Family Bible Time and prayer time, which our teens so desperately need.

(The Five Love Languages of Teenagers:  Gary Chapman, Ph.D – Northfield Publishing)